Reader Question:

I found this guy a couple weeks back therefore immediately struck it off. He’s 20 I am also 18.

We assented we’d stay as buddies with benefits because I will be making in two several months for some time. For whatever reason, he keeps revisiting the idea of only being friends, saying the guy likes myself however it can make him place a wall up.

We informed him it will be good whenever we simply ceased speaking so he wouldn’t get further thoughts because the guy doesn’t want to date, but he helps to keep saying the guy doesn’t want to stop speaking.

How come he send me mixed signals? How to figure out what the guy would like?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


When you describe your own commitment as friends with advantages, I assume you indicate sexual benefits. And because you are the one making city, I get a feeling you’re a person who structured the connection in this way.

The guy, having said that, did not have the majority of a selection. You will be making, even though he desired a lot more. Indeed, We suspect your own ticket outside of the connection was the thing that lured the two of you.

It is a method to check an union comprehending that just one people may have an exit door on two-month tag.

With modern relationships being thus delicate yet so pressured to have gender, folks usually turn to dip their toe-in in order to avoid an agonizing breakup.

Nevertheless important thing is actually sex creates emotions. He could be giving you mixed signals because the guy loves you! They are in fact letting you know the “friends with advantages” charade will be the wall structure he is setting up.

My advice: You should not mess with this guy’s cardiovascular system unless you wish an actual commitment. Should you choose, carry it up-and be specific concerning your needs.

The elephant into the family area looks too big for either of you to ignore.

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